City Dweller: Scary Monsters and Super Creeps

I was going to talk to you about workplace pensions this month, but let’s leave examining your future wallet until another time! So, with Halloween fast approaching I thought something a little less scary than pensions might be more appropriate.

Have a glance around at your colleagues right now and I would bet that you will be able to identify every single one of them from my list of ‘scary people in the workplace’. You see, it’s that time of year when the clocks going back means we spend more time in work and with Christmas parties on the horizon, we are more sensitive to our workmates and their habits.

So here it goes…

Ghosters – These are the ones that just don’t take their day job too seriously because their nights are far more interesting (to them at least). Often hung over from a heavy night before or tired because they perform in an ABBA tribute band, coming into work really is a distraction from what they prefer to be doing.

The Office Witch – (known as the Office B*tch the rest of the year). Beware, there could be more than one of these and between them they make a coven. Spiky and snarly, their volatile mood is a complete pain to everyone around them. Planting gossip and backstabbing, they seem to be able to cast a spell over more senior staff, keeping them aware of their colleagues’ every move and fault.

Pumpkins – Orange and overstuffed, these beauties are characterised by eating at work – constantly, often noisily and usually at their desk or work station. They rarely offer their hoard of sweeties and pies around and without doubt, they will have already ordered their meal for the Christmas Do.

Skeletons – Usually in cupboards and we all have them! Don’t kid yourself that just because your CV doesn’t mention any of them that someone at work won’t bust your closet open and lay your skeletons bare. It’s likely to be one of the aforementioned witches or even one of the pumpkins when raking through cupboards to find the works’ biscuits.

Turnips – what springs to mind when you think of a turnip? The odour by any chance? Hmmm turnips are a year-round problem, but this season is good time to air your views (and the office) about personal hygiene. Raise it as a topic at the staff meeting or perhaps an article in the internal newsletter and collectively sniff out that smelly Jack O’ Lantern.

So, there you have it, my Top Five Spooky Characters at Work, let’s hope you’re not one of them. And please, please if you have any work-related or career questions then drop me line and next month my serious hat will be back on, promise.


Craig Burton is a seasoned specialist recruiter of over twenty one years with and